Claire Judd, Therapy for mum rage, therapy harrogate, how to stop shouting

1:1 Therapy for Mums

There's talking therapy and then there's talking therapy that gently goes deep for lasting change. This is the latter.

It's voicing the things you're unlikely to say out loud to someone close to you, because it feels safe to do so...

"I grabbed her arm the other day, really grabbed it, too hard"

"I feel energy travel down my arms and I have to physically stop myself from lashing out, I worry that one day I won't be able to stop it"

"Sometimes I think it would be easier to parent by myself"

"I find myself day dreaming about what life would have been like if I hadn't had children"

It's exploring the things that your body and mind are still holding on to from the past...how big emotions were dealt with when you were a child, who cared for you and accepted you just as you were, what you had to deal with on your own because the adults in your life didn't work out how to handle life with a child.

It's acknowledging the world you are parenting in that makes you feel like you're failing...the expectation that you parent like you don't work and work like you don't parent; the damned if you do, damned if you don't situations of work vs SAHM, breastfeeding vs formula, co-sleep vs sleep train, school vs home school. The gender roles that become so much more pronounced when it's you taking the career break, holding the emotions of the children and organising all the life admin that comes with parenting.

And crucially, it's re-learning how to listen to your body and feel safe with the very natural emotions it feels in a world that encourages you to just pull your socks up and push through. It's a space to pause, breathe, lower your shoulders and teach your body that it's okay to do this.

All of this together helps you tune into your reactions quicker, hit pause and respond in ways you want to rather than a place of overwhelm. It means when you say to your child "it's okay to cry" and they know you mean it because they've seen you be okay with your own tears, and they feel you there for them rather than shutting them down.

It's the difference between you and your children feeling on edge 24/7 and having a relationship together that you feel proud of.

Book Therapy with Claire

1:1 therapy for anger is ideal for you if:

♢ You love your children fiercely and yet still have reactions that sometimes scare you

♢ You keep trying parenting tools but they never seem to work...gentle parenting scripts that you end up hissing through gritted teeth, new bedtime routines that feel great when you first start but eventually end up with you digging your nails into the palm of your hands until you can't contain the urge to scream and get out of the room...and you know there's something deeper going on.

♢ You want to sit with your children and really listen to them...when they're reaching for more connection at bedtime, when they're having big emotions and need you to be there for them without being carried away by your own emotions, or when life is throwing hurdles and you want to stay true to the things that matter.

♢ You're ready to gently explore your own patterns, childhood and the world you're parenting in for the longer term benefit of knowing your future teen will trust you to hold the big emotions of the friendship issues they're navigating or feel comfortable telling you the scary thing that happened to them at that party, because long ago you stopped reacting from a place of survival and started responding with curiosity...to yourself and them.

♢ There's a part of you who knows this is what you need and that this therapy might be the one that changes how you feel. (It is!)

♢ You're ready to commit to showing up for yourself not just in sessions, but in day to day life.

Hello,

I'm so pleased you've found me. I'm Claire, a psychotherapist specialising in anger and rage, a mum to two wildlings, maternal mental health advocate and public speaker.

I founded my therapy practice after experiencing an intense rage in the early years of having my first child. I help mums who want to feel lighter in their mothering journey, who want to experience joy, and who want to be able to show their love through connection with their children instead of feeling constantly overwhelmed.

I also offer group programmes and speak at events about maternal mental health. I'm passionate about changing the way we talk about anger in motherhood. It gets a bad rep because we've often contained ourselves for so long it explodes towards our children, but actually the energy it gives us can fuel change when we start to listen to it.

Learn more about me

Messages from Past Clients

"Blown my mind"

"It's blown my mind how being listened to, like really listened to, has helped me with how I was feeling about the birth. I was so angry and I just didn't understand why. You helped me see why I was stuck where I was and I'm so grateful about how gentle you were with the scarier bits. I'm now starting to move forward and be kinder to myself too!"

Mum to 3yr old & 6month old

"My emotions don't control me anymore"

"Before working with Claire, I felt constantly on edge, like I was reacting before I even knew why. Now, I can pause and understand what’s happening inside me. I still feel all the emotions, but they don’t control me anymore because they feel so much less overwhelming. I feel calmer, more present, and more myself."

Mum to 5yr old

"I'm making conscious choices"

"Working with Claire helped me see how my own childhood shaped the way I parent. I was so fixed on not repeating the childhood I had, that I was inadvertently repeating the patterns! I feel so much less reactive now, I feel like I'm making a conscious choice about how I show up as a mum."

Mum to 2 yr old

Frequently Asked Questions

How much does a session cost?

Each session is 60 minutes and costs £120

When and where are sessions held?

Sessions are held online via Google Meet, or in person at my home in Killinghall, Harrogate. If you are local you are welcome to do a mix of the two. There is no difference in quality of therapy you receive, all I ask if you opt for therapy online is that you have space you can make yourself comfortable in and where you won’t be overheard. My clients will often cosy up in their favourite armchair with a blanket or even get tucked up in bed with a cuppa, it's all about your own comfort.

All therapy starts weekly with the option of going fortnightly once we've established a good relationship and have some momentum to the change you want to see.

How many sessions will I need?

The honest answer is I don't know. Everyone is different and sessions are booked on a week to week basis. 3 months is good, 6 months is even better. You have the opportunity to continue for as long as you like and everyone has a different starting place, and a different point at which they want to finish therapy. We talk about 'progress' on a regular basis and when you start to notice reactions becoming softer we explore how you wish to continue or how you'd like to end. Many clients phase out of therapy, going to fortnightly or even monthly or adhoc check ins when they feel they're ready.

What kind of therapist are you?

I’m an integrative relational psychotherapist which means I use a range of modalities in our sessions. I use Compassion Focused Therapy, Parts Work, Person Centred & Somatic Therapy as my main practice. This allows you to get a good understanding of what's going on and why you feel this way, from both a biological and emotional perspective, have space to offload the worries, thoughts and heaviness of what you're carrying, as well as re-connect you with your body and what it's telling you. It's the latter that is often missing from talking therapy and it's so important when we're experiencing anger as mums, because as women we have largely been taught not to get angry which means we store so much of it in our body.

Other than the type of therapy I use, I'm also someone who...

- has experienced intense anger and I've been that reactive mum

- has a thorough knowledge of the systems at play in motherhood that can keep us stuck

- experience of working with trauma (for example; childhood and birth trauma)

- actively keeps up with research into motherhood from a neurological and emotional perspective

Do I have to know what's wrong/Have a diagnosis of something?

No, you don’t need a diagnosis, label or be in crisis to start therapy. Though I often work with mums who have been diagnosed with postnatal depression/anxiety/rage. Even if you have been diagnosed with something, there's nothing actually 'wrong' with you, your body and mind are having a very natural reaction to the things you are dealing with now, and the experiences you've had in the past.

Can I cancel/reschedule a session?

Yes, I have a 48 hour notice period for cancellations. However, if we are able to reschedule within the same week I will simply transfer the payment to the new session time with no extra charge.

In instances where you need to cancel or rearrange appointments, you can email me at [email protected] or message me on 07595775237. Holidays or skipped sessions can be planned as we go and I will give you notice of any of my own holidays (which usually occur during school holidays).

Are you qualified?

Yes.

Frustratingly, 'counsellor' and 'psychotherapist' are still unprotected titles in the UK so legally anyone can call themselves a counsellor or therapist. However, to be eligible for insurance and membership with one of the professional bodies, (such as the NCPS that holds a register accredited by the Professional Standards Agency) a counsellor or psychotherapist have to be at least educated with a nationally recognised diploma and have an accredited supervisor to ensure they work ethically.

I am a member of the NCSP. You can check I'm registered here: https://www.search-ncps.com/search by typing in Claire Judd in to the search.

I hold a BSc in Psychology, and a Post Graduate Diploma (L7) in Counselling and Psychotherapy and have trained further in a range of modalities including somatic therapy and compassion focused therapy.

I have a baby, can they be present?

These sessions are for you and I want you to be able to make the most of them. In an ideal world you would come by yourself. This means your attention is fully on yourself and our session, as I know only too well how our mind is programmed to attempt multi-tasking when in the presence of our children.

Having said that, we don't always live in the ideal world so if you have a young baby who is not yet mobile, they are welcome. Unfortunately moving infants take a good deal more attention and you may be much more considered in your language and your emotions around them. In this case, it's unlikely that you would be able to focus fully on yourself, therefore I ask that you make arrangements for them during our time together.

Do I book a free call or a first full session?

This is up to you - many of my clients get to the point they’ve decided to start therapy, and know this feels right so they book a first session. However the initial free call is a good option if you have questions that aren’t covered here or want to check we're a good fit before diving in to a full hour. Either way, you're tied in to anything and we'll discuss where you'd like to go from here at the end of the call.

What do I do if I want to book?

From here you can head over to my calendar on my 'Contact' page, where you can book either a free 15 minute initial call or your first full session. It's all bookable online, you'll receive the details by email automatically and when I spot your booking I'll be in touch personally too.